he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
