I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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