why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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