I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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