Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
cat food counts as protein by the way
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
