this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
