"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
