just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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