Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
