capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
