so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I had to cum in my sink.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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