So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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