We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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