fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
