didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
