Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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