I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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