There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize