thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
