There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
he fucked my hip out of place.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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