toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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