If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Brb crying the tears of my youth
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
