all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
