Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
