It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
