I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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