You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Someone shit on the floor
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
