You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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