it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
