You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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