bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
