So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
