walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Come share oat with me in your robe
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
