How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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