I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Boobs are out for the taking
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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