We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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