Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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