Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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