would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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