True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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