I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
