So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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