sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
