shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
she looked like the before picture.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
