How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
