I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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