What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
organizing the empties. That sober.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
