My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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