My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
All the doctor said was why
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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