Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
