Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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