am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
