After last night, I could never be a politician.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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