I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
