He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
