She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
