This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
