So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
