We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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