I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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