I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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