She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
